"Without Us, They're Just Dead People"

The first time I heard a well-trained medium say this, I was stunned. It felt bold—maybe even harsh. But after sitting with it, I understood the deeper truth: as mediums, we are the bridge. We don’t control what comes through. We don’t get to cherry-pick messages or demand specific answers. Our role is to surrender—to trust that what comes is meant for the sitter, even if it doesn’t make sense to us.

Mediumship isn’t about control. It’s about letting go.

And that’s harder than it sounds. Especially for someone like me, with an academic background and a deep desire to understand, to prove, to get it “right.” In the beginning, I was constantly tuned in—seeking messages everywhere, eager to validate my gift. But that eagerness, I later realized, was often rooted in ego. I wanted to serve, yes—but I also wanted to prove to myself that I was legitimate.

The harder I tried, the more I blocked the flow. I would overanalyze, reinterpret, and sometimes even override the message. I forgot that I wasn’t the one meant to understand it—I was just the messenger. And when a sitter said “no,” I would shrink. My heart would race, the connection would fade, and my inner critic would scream: You’re wrong. You’re a fraud.

So many of us fall prey to that voice. We become our own biggest obstacle.

The truth is, intuition doesn’t thrive under pressure. It needs space. It needs stillness. It needs us to quiet the conscious mind—not silence it, but redirect it. Park the ego in front of the TV, so the subconscious can step forward and speak.

Letting go is a practice. It means releasing the need to understand every message. It means trusting that even a “no” might later become a “yes.” I’ve had sitters reach out days later to confirm something they initially rejected. Sometimes it’s memory. Sometimes it’s interpretation. Sometimes it’s just timing.

I once brought through a woman who felt like a mother. The sitter said her mother was alive, so I moved on. Later, she asked me to revisit it—and it turned out to be her friend’s mother, who had helped raise her. My rational mind had dismissed it too quickly. The message wasn’t wrong. I just didn’t understand it.

During a course on evidential mediumship, a fellow student recommended The Surrender Experiment by Michael A. Singer. That book changed everything. Singer’s journey is a powerful reminder that surrendering to life’s flow—even when it’s uncomfortable or unclear—can lead to profound growth and peace. His message mirrors the path of the medium: let go of ego, say yes to what comes, and trust the process.

As my tutor Donna Barker at Arthur Findlay College once said:

“Go blank like a piece of paper—and the words, thoughts, and feelings will come.”

That’s the real work. Not forcing. Not proving. Just allowing.